People often write negative things about social media, saying that it consumes time, demotivate you, depresses you and somehow overrated. Well, it could be, but we are the only ones doing it, right? So, how can you blame something else when you are the actual consumer of it? It’s like a drinker blaming alcohol just for existing. Well, chuck it. The idea behind writing this is not to curse social media but to tell you how this arise in the first place. So, on the blissful occasion of 6000 followers list on my Instagram page, I was just so happy and reading followers messages. Someone just bumped into me and asked, “Hey Nikhil, great profile. I have a question for you. You are the left-handed author and fit to answer it. so, tell me, why modern day love is so depressing?”
That makes me ponder, and then I decided to give my share of relationship advice here.
Modern day love…
I think it’s a very personal question because each one of us experiences love in a very different way. It is about intangible things, things that you don’t see but feel inside your heart. Now, answering the question, I think love is always love. There’s nothing modern and traditional in it. You can say that technologies have changed, people are now easily able to find each other, talk to them without having a pigeon to carry their message and waiting for days to receive a response. So, yes technology has changed. Back in the time, people had to make excuses, hide things, just to spare a few special moments with the one they love. Now, people are quite liberal until or unless you belong to a very conservative backdrop. Therefore, you can now see and talk to the one you love and even can meet them without worrying so much. Moreover, with the extent of possibilities, people are having quite a lot of opportunities to explore each other identities.
All that defines that we are in an age where falling in love is easy, where we have opportunities to make our life even more magical.
If that so, how come the modern love is depressing?
Well, I don’t think modern love is depressing. Love can’t be depressing, right? But, if you are finding someone on tinder and wondering why things aren’t working out after the first two dates, then I am sorry, it isn’t what love is. Similarly, if you are finding someone to fulfil your physical and emotional needs and wondering why things aren’t working when your needs aren’t achieving, then there’s no love. I think the generation we are living in, needs to understand that something which comes easy, goes easy too. Although, time is no guarantee of having someone.
There are so many ordinary things to do in life, and love shouldn’t be one of them. It should never be taken for granted. It should be something that challenges you, pushes you and calms your chaotic heart. When you are genuinely in a company of someone that loves and admires you, you find opportunities to grow, and you give your best to it because that is what you want to reflect on yourselves. Moreover, I think our Indian parents managed to spend their lives with each other because they knew the art of fixing something when it’s broken, not to replace it like we do. People nowadays want everything to happen quickly, today, right now, and when things don’t happen in their way, they don’t fix but move on. This scenario makes me anxious about the future we are creating for ourselves.
To conclude, I would like to say that modern or traditional- love was never depressing. It is the people & the way they misinterpret, behave to the life situations. But I have always believed in choices, and I think that we can make better decisions once we are truly conscious about it.
Now that you know the definition of love, you can easily choose whether to make it so happening or depressing.
It’s your life; you are the hero/heroine here. You can decide what to have- impatience or patience, ability to understand things or move on when something wrong happens. You can choose whether to miss someone when you don’t have them or to realise their worth & redefine your relationships. You can choose among- greed or compassion.
Remember, how you use what you have decides the quality of your life. You have the power now, and I hope you would be able to make the best choice for your life.
